I almost didn't notice

Something happened last week that I almost didn’t notice.

I finished a heavy lower day. Loaded the bar, pulled, racked it, drove home.

It was only in the car that it hit me.

I hadn’t thought about my back once. Not during warm-ups, not between sets, not walking out.

There were years where that sentence would have sounded like fiction.

When you’re in pain, you forget what it feels like to train hard. When you’re training hard again, you almost forget what it felt like to be in pain.

I lived the first half for years. Training hard turned into a memory I couldn’t quite reach. What I had instead was managing. Bracing, modifying, doing math about chairs and warm-up weights.

Now I’m living the second half, and it’s strange in its own way. The guy who scanned every room before sitting down is getting blurry.

The part I sit with is that I don’t want him gone completely.

I don’t want to fully forget.

Remembering is the reason I do this work the way I do it. It’s why I answer every reply on these emails. The day I forget what the stuck side felt like is the day I get worse at helping people out of it.

Which half are you living? The one where training hard has become the memory, or the one where the pain is starting to blur?

Hit reply and tell me. I read all of these.

Hope you’re moving well and brewing better. ☕

Gabe